Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
