Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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