Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
