In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
