I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
