All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
