I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
