OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
