Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
