She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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