That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Sober January is a disaster.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
