Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
