Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
