WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I need moral support for this bender
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
