How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
