I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
