I'll bet she douches with gravy.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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