Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
COCAINE IS GR8
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
