So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
