If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
