You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
