just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
