I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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