Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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