I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
