All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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