Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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