today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
