sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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