He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
