my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
