Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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