Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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