Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
