There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
