Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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