So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
