im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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