I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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