Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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