Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My dick has a subreddit
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm too high and old for this...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
