weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
