In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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