"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
