remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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