Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
