god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
