Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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