Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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