Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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