I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
