I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
